Renouncing the Reactive Mind States of Judging, Comparing, and Fixing

An Approach to Renunciation for Lay People

Although it’s a concept that often leads to resistance and misunderstanding, renunciation is essential on the spiritual path. For lay people, who don’t live within the formal structure of a monastic community, there’s a need to find a form of restraint that works in daily life. The untrained mind is always moving—labeling, categorizing, and trying to fit things into boxes. While this helps us function in the world, it often gets in the way of the direct, clear seeing that the Buddha pointed to. Renunciation isn't about denying or suppressing our experience. It's about intentionally turning away from mental habits that keep us stuck in separation and dissatisfaction.

Renunciation is an intentional act. It's often undertaken at the start of a retreat, as a way of turning inward, but can also be utilized in daily life. We don’t expect that old habits will disappear right away. Instead, we take this on as a practice. When those habits show up, we don’t judge ourselves for it—we practice not judging the judging mind. When those habits are less present or fall away, we begin to notice the sense of freedom that opens up. That freedom starts as something we glimpse, and over time, can become more stable and readily accessible.

The benefits of renunciation are clear. It reduces mental chatter and reactivity, and creates space for aliveness, heartfulness, and intuition. A quieter mind makes us more available and in tune with the present moment. Renunciation also creates a kind of container for practice. It protects us from anxiety and the belief that we’re doing it wrong. It helps us relate to our inner obstacles in a new way. As we let go of these patterns, our mind becomes more clear and aligned with what leads to liberation.

Three major habits we renounce are the judging, comparing, and fixing reactive mind states. The judging mind labels things—including ourselves—as good or bad, leading to tightness and a sense of self. While we do need to evaluate sometimes, it doesn’t have to come from judgment. The comparing mind measures us and our experience as better or worse than others or the past, or an imagined ideal. This pulls us out of the present moment. The Buddha taught not to view things as better than, worse than, or even the same as. The fixing mind wants to change things quickly, usually to avoid discomfort. This habit prevents us from staying with experience long enough to really understand it.

As we let go of these habits, a different quality of mind arises—a discerning mind. This mind can still evaluate and make decisions, but it does so from wisdom and compassion. It's not tight or reactive. The discerning mind sees the bigger picture and cares about well-being, rather than defending a self-image.

The path doesn't require being perfect. What matters is sincerity—staying true to our intention. The goal isn’t to look like an ideal practitioner, but to show up authentically and keep practicing. We are supported by the practice of “As best I am able.” This mindset keeps us grounded in practice itself, not chasing results. It helps us meet our patterns with kindness and patience, and allows humility and dignity to grow.

Ultimately, renunciation leads to greater freedom. It’s not about going without—it’s about being free from the mental habits that keep us stuck. These renunciations create the conditions for a mind that is open, stable, clear, and able to respond with wisdom and compassion.

Deepening Your Understanding Through Reflection

• On Judging, Comparing, and Fixing: How do you experience each of these three: Judging, Comparing, and Fixing? What do they feel like in your body? What thoughts and emotions arise with them? Are there particular situations that trigger them?

• On our habitual tendency with Judging, Comparing, and Fixing: What one of these three do you tend to go to the most? What is your second go-to? The invitation is to see these as patterns, and bring some lightness to this, and not to take them on as identities.

• On “As best I am able”: How does “As best I am able” feel to you? Allow “As best I am able” to be a living refection. We can often be unreal with ourselves. On the one hand, we can demand something we’re not capable of, which leads to a lot of wasted energy and unnecessary heartache. On the other hand, we can let ourselves off the hook too easily and avoid holding ourselves accountable for what we actually are capable of. “As best I am able” allows us to show up just as we are. “As best I am able” matures into an empowerment.